The glorification of busy....
Busy, busy, busy.... I can not remember the last time my family and I woke up and had a full day stretching out ahead of us with nothing to do. In this day and age I feel like everyone is always busy. Why are we all so busy?
Plans, classes, work, exercise, errands, parties more plans and somehow most of the women and mothers I know still feel inferior. But the question is... Inferior to who?
Do we feel inferior to the other mom's in our communities that look like they have it all under control and never raise their voices at their kids?
I have had plenty of people tell me I look like a mom that can do it all, can maintain her cool and my response is always the same... My mouth falls open in shock and the stunned silence is shortly followed by huge belly laughs and a story about how I turned into the literal She-Devil-Mom while trying to get my kids to bed the night before.
Do we feel inferior to the women we see on Instagram and in the media who look like they have a perfect life? These women, be they celebrities or pseudo-celebrties (Famous on Instagram) who manage to have kids and run huge business empires or simply get paid millions of dollars to travel the world and take pretty pictures of themselves in dreamy-free-to-them-but-costs-everyone-else-an-arm-and-a-leg outfits? Beautiful faces with nary a wrinkle to be seen can make the rest of us feel like the freaking Crypt Keeper.
Well, guess what? We will never keep up. Do you want to know why?
This mom, the one that has her shit together, a perfectly clean house, children who never throw tantrums or misbehave, a bikini ready body.... Who is always happy, happy, happy & wears the perfect thing and has amazing hair and runs her own business empire while having sex with her husband every night of the week is a fucking myth.
Now, who made up this mythical creature? A man or other women?
This woman we are all comparing ourselves against, she isn't real and she doesn't exist.
We live in an age where we as women have a right to do it all, we have the ability to do it all but that kind of leaves us with the self imposed expectation that we HAVE to do it all. We don't. Do men have these same feelings? Is there some sort of subversive backwards feminism at work?
It feels like you have to be a #GirlBoss to be a success these days and while we love us some Nasty Gal and think Sophia Amoruso (who coined this phrase) is a genius and a force of nature, not every one has to be that to be a success.
This is real talk and we hope it's not offensive... Somehow, we all still loose something in this.
The woman who stays home with her kids misses the creative outlets and financial freedoms that a career can provide and the mother who goes to work feels bad about missing out on some moments with her kids.
Neither a stay-home-mom or a working-mom can do it all, we all miss out on something.
There is a subtle pressure these days to be more then what we all are. But we are here to tell you (and ourselves), you don't have to be Instagram Famous or hustle everyday to make a ton of cash to be a happy and successful person. You don't have to be a stay-at-home-mom who finger paints all day and bakes gluten-free bread to be a happy and successful person and as Jennifer Aniston just so amazingly pointed out, you don't need children or a mate to make you a happy and successful person.
To be a successful person, you just have to do what makes you happy.
We are not all built the same way. While some want to take on the world, others just want to get through the day and kick back with a nice glass of rose and a good book. It takes all sorts of flowers to make a garden.
So, let's all stop beating up on ourselves & each other for not being enough. You don't have to be a #Girl Boss, Or a #Room Mom or a #anyfuckingthing... You are enough, we are enough.
Let us take a minute to say that we are incredibly proud and inspired by the advances that women are making in our world. My gosh we are months away from possibly having the first female President Of The United States!
Women are unbelievable and we are so proud... Our friends that are able to give 1000% to their work & their families are heroes and we marvel at their passion and drive every day. In no way are we taking away from the hard work and bad-ass-ness of these women... Quite to the contrary, we bow down to the amazingness that they are.
Erin and I live life as dreamers and makers and we are full to bursting with all sorts of plans for the future of Things We Heart. As wives and mothers it has been a challenge for us to balance these things. Granted, Erin and I are both well aware and incredibly grateful that we are fortunate enough to have the opportunity to be stay-at-home moms. There is not a day that goes by that we do not feel so, so lucky.
Which brings us around to making our point, because I guess we must have had one before we went off on this tangent.
Oh yes, our point is: to really move our gender forward in the ways we dream of as women, we need to encourage and nurture all sorts of lifestyles. So whatever it is you're out there doing ladies, be it starting your own business, writing a novel, building an empire or just playing Legos with your kid and thinking abut the 3 loads of laundry you still have to get to, you just keep on doing you. You are more then enough.
We would honestly love to hear your thoughts and feelings on this conversation. Please comment bellow and share your ideas.